Front of the Class Read online

  Praise for

  Front of the Class

  “Strongly recommended reading … Front of the Class is the remarkable story of a remarkable man who learned to deal with a marked and all too remarkable affliction.”

  —Midwest Book Review, Reviewer’s Choice

  “Thank you, Brad, for your determination, your spirit, your compassion, and your perseverance, and thank you for daring to share it with all of us.”

  —Susan Conners, education specialist,

  Tourette Syndrome Association, Inc.

  “This book provides a genuine and heartfelt message of hope in the face of a potentially devastating disorder.”

  —Neal Adams, M.D., MPH, Psychiatric Services,

  Journal of the American Psychiatric Association

  “Brad Cohen’s story is a triumph of hope, determination, will, and relentless good humor. His approach to living with Tourette syndrome proves how much is possible when you expect the best of everyone, especially yourself.”

  —Peter J. Hollenbeck, Ph.D., professor and associate

  head of biological sciences, Purdue University

  “Front of the Class is not just a book about Tourette syndrome. It is a courageous and touching account of one young man’s difficulties and triumphs in life.”

  —Sheryl K. Pruitt, M.Ed., clinical director, Parkaire

  Consultants and coauthor of Teaching the Tiger and

  Understanding Tourette Syndrome: A Handbook for Educators

  How Tourette Syndrome

  Made Me the Teacher

  I Never Had

  Brad Cohen with Lisa Wysocky

  St. Martin’s Griffin

  New York

  FRONT OF THE CLASS. Copyright © 2005, 2008 by Bradley Richard Cohen and Felicia Wysocky. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. For information, address St. Martin’s Press, 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10010.

  www.stmartins.com

  Cohen, Brad, 1973–

  Front of the class : how Tourette syndrome made me the teacher I never had / Brad

  Cohen with Lisa Wysocky. — 1st ed.

  p. cm.

  Includes index.

  “First published in the United States in 2005 by VanderWyk & Burnham.”

  ISBN-13: 978-0-312-57139-9

  ISBN-10:0-312-57139-9

  1. Cohen, Brad, 1973– —Mental health. 2. Tourette syndrome—Patients—

  Biography. I. Wysocky, Lisa, 1957– II. Title.

  RC375.C64 2008

  362.196’830092—dc22 2008038734

  First published in the United States in 2005 by VanderWyk & Burnham

  First St. Martin’s Griffin Edition: December 2008

  10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

  To everyone who has Tourette syndrome

  CONTENTS

  Foreword by Jim Eisenreich

  Preface

  Acknowledgments

  1 A “Playable Identity”

  2 Out of Control

  3 Tics Are in Season

  4 The Wonder-Bread-and-Miracle-Whip Diet

  5 Introducing the Stranger

  6 The Invitation

  7 When the “Thing” Wins

  8 Testing the Waters: Student Teaching

  9 Barking Up the Wrong Trees

  10 Dire … Ire … Mire … Hire

  11 We Won’t Play Hide-and-Seek

  12 Going to the Cutting Edge

  13 Remembering Heather

  14 Reprise and Surprise

  15 Coloring Outside the Lines

  Epilogue

  Photo Album

  Appendix: Thoughts on Living with Tourette Syndrome

  and Other Disabilities

  Resources

  Index

  FOREWORD

  by Jim Eisenreich

  I’M JIM EISENREICH and I am a former professional baseball player. Like Brad Cohen, I also have Tourette syndrome, which is a neurological disorder that causes repeated and sometimes debilitating vocal and muscular twitches called tics. I first met Brad at a national Tourette syndrome conference when he was in his very early twenties. We were on a young adult panel together and I was awed by his poise, his confidence, and his commitment to education. My impression of Brad, even at that age, was one of a very determined and motivated young man. When you talk to Brad it is very noticeable that he has a frequent vocal tic that can be quite distracting to someone who is listening to him. If I had a vocal tic that severe, I don’t know that I could speak in public as much or as eloquently as Brad does. But his vocal tic—or any of his other tics—has never stopped Brad from striving to reach his goals or from educating people about Tourette’s.

  At that first meeting, Brad and I found we had a lot in common: we both began displaying symptoms at around six or seven years of age; we both were misdiagnosed, had difficulty in school, and were teased mercilessly by other kids. Additionally, we both found something to excel in. For me, it was sports, and a career capped by a World Series win with the Florida Marlins; for Brad, it was his leadership skills and his unique ability to make everyone feel at ease around him. When you listen to Brad talk, you constantly hear strange noises right in the middle of his sentences. But Brad just goes on as if they weren’t there, and his ability not to be embarrassed or self-conscious about it makes those listening to him forget about the tics fairly quickly.

  Neither Brad nor I know why our brains tell us to do the strange things we do, or why we were chosen to have this disorder. But Brad and I have something else in common. We share a need to educate people about Tourette’s and to help others who have the disorder. I have been a spokesperson for the National Tourette Syndrome Association, and in 1996 I began the Jim Eisenreich Foundation for Children with Tourette Syndrome to help children with Tourette’s achieve personal success. Brad has become a tremendous teacher of young kids and a wonderful role model. Now, working with coauthor Lisa Wysocky, he has created a book that highlights his amazing story.

  Brad’s great success in life is based on his unwavering determination to set and accomplish extraordinary goals. He sets his sights very high and doesn’t stop until he has accomplished what he has set out to do. Brad Cohen never lets Tourette syndrome prevent him from doing anything he wants to do. We should all think of him when life gets us down.

  The beauty of Brad’s story is that it is a story for every underdog, for everyone who has ever stumbled in life, for anyone-who thinks life has dealt them a little more than they can handle. Brad Cohen is a big inspiration to me and hopefully will be to you as well.

  Jim Eisenreich

  January 2005

  PREFACE

  TOURETTE SYNDROME IS A NEUROLOGICAL DISORDER of the brain that causes uncontrollable vocal and muscular tics. Depending on my stress level and a host of other circumstances, I may utter a series of loud “WAH, wah, wah” sounds or an individual “woop” several times a minute. My face may be relatively passive, or parts of my body may be convulsed with what look like spasms. Because I have been twitching and making these loud and uncontrollable sounds, called barks, for most of my life, I have had plenty of experience being taunted and even physically attacked. I’ve also been kicked out of classrooms by teachers. In the 1980s, as I was growing up with Tourette’s, doctors knew little about the neurological disorder and the public was barely aware it existed. As a child I even heard adults openly speculate as to whether my behavior meant that I was possessed by the devil. Today people routinely stare at me in the mall, going to a movie or concert is virtually impossible, and dating is a whole other story in itself. I am one of over a hundred thousand people in the United States who have full-blown Tourette syndrome.

  If you can imagine a life like this, imagine the difficulty in not only getting a
job but excelling in a job that puts you in front of a room full of people. Because I did not get the support and understanding of my peers and teachers growing up, you might predict that would make me think about a quiet job I could do at home––away from rude stares. The lack of support, however, fueled my desire to become the positive and accepting teacher I never had. Of course, the world frequently does not share our dreams; the first twenty-four principals who interviewed me weren’t willing to hire someone with Tourette syndrome.

  In fact, I have learned that Tourette’s is not always a hindrance; the coping skills Tourette syndrome forced me to learn have also given me the confidence to make my dream of being an effective and compassionate teacher a reality. Because of my years of Tourette-based isolation as a child, I believe that staying relentlessly involved in a child’s day-to-day well-being is the greatest skill a teacher can bring to the classroom. Today, I tell my students that Tourette syndrome is my constant companion and that without it I just wouldn’t be me. Has it been a struggle? Of course. Has it been rewarding? Absolutely.

  I think of it this way: we all have a choice between looking at our own cup of life as being half full or half empty. Early on, I chose to view my cup as if it were filled to the brim. Every one of us has some sort of disability. Some disabilities, like mine, are more visible to the outside world. Other disabilities, such as a fear of heights, a lack of confidence, or not being a great reader, are harder for people to see. Whatever your situation, I hope my story is an inspiration to you. I hope it makes you realize that no matter what problems or disabilities you have, you too can make your dreams come true.

  In conclusion, I’m here to make a difference. I hope everyone shares my vision of making the world a better place, one step at a time. Education is imperative and ignorance isn’t bliss. Please help me pass my message along for those who don’t have a voice.

  Cheers,

  Brad Cohen

  January 2005

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  Brad Cohen

  I want to acknowledge everyone who has Tourette syndrome. We are our own fraternity and it’s great to know there is so much support. I hope this book helps you cope with TS down the road.

  How do I say thank you to the many who have helped me get to this point and who have inspired me? First, I need to recognize my immediate family and thank them for their unconditional support. We have been through some tough times, but we always rebound stronger than before. Jeff, Mom, Dad, and Diane, thank you for being there, even when I didn’t think I needed you. It’s great to know I always had the support I needed. Second, thanks to my extended family for sticking through the tough times in order to celebrate the happy times now. Family is important, and I have learned that I can count on mine.

  Thank you to my loyal friends; you mean a lot. I don’t take friendships for granted, and you all motivated me to be successful. I wish I could name everyone, but that would be another book.

  Thanks to my favorite elementary school in the world, Mountain View. To Jim Ovbey and Hilarie Straka, a special thank you for giving me my dream of being a teacher and allowing me a chance to be in “front of the class.” Thanks to all the teachers, especially my second grade team, and my other special friends. Thanks, too, to Stripling Elementary for all your support!

  Also, I can’t forget the wonderful students I’ve had the privilege to teach. You are the foundation of the classroom and you helped me be the best teacher I could be. You believed in me when it counted most. I want you to know that I love teaching and I hope you left my classroom an even better person than when you arrived.

  Thanks to the following individuals, who have gone out of their way to see this book in print: Sharlene Martin, my agent at Martin Literary Management; Anthony Flacco; Patti Ghezzi, who helped me get started and came up with the great title; Lisa Wysocky for helping me write the book; Corey Gers for the website; and Jim Eisenreich for writing the foreword. Thanks to Andy Lipman, Wendy Bain, Anne Newhouse, and Michael DeFillippo for their guidance; to Jonathon Lyons for his generosity; and, of course, to Meredith Rutter at VanderWyk and Burnham—thanks for publishing me.

  Thanks to my fraternity, Alpha Epsilon Pi (AEPi), for believing in me and allowing me to be active, and to the B’nai B’rith Youth Organization (BBYO) for not being my life but giving me a life.

  To all my friends at Cobb County’s Relay for Life, who help put on one of the best fundraisers in the nation, thanks for allowing me to be your leader. And to the Atlanta Braves and Kory Burke, thank you for allowing me to fulfill my dream of being the Braves mascot. I wouldn’t trade that for anything.

  I am truly honored that Hallmark Hall of Fame thought so highly of my life story to want to do a movie about me. I’m so grateful to have the chance to share my story with the world. Thanks for believing in me.

  Thanks to the Tourette Syndrome Association of Georgia and the National Tourette Syndrome Association. It’s been a pleasure working with all of you! I hope my message makes our lives and the lives of future Touretters better down the road.

  Lastly, thanks to everyone who has allowed me to be me.

  Lisa Wysocky

  I want to thank Sharlene Martin, Anthony Flacco, and Meredith Rutter, who all believed in the power of Brad’s story, and without whom this account would never have been told. Thanks to Brad’s many friends and family members who so generously contributed their time and stories; I just wish we could have used them all. And deep appreciation to Brad Cohen, who invited me into his life and who is a fabulous writing partner and an all-around great guy.

  A “PLAYABLE IDENTITY”

  I GREW UP IN ST. LOUIS, Missouri, home of the Arch and home of Cardinals baseball. My parents, Norman and Ellen, divorced very early in my life—so early, in fact, that unlike many children, I was far too young to think that the divorce had anything to do with me. Of course it didn’t. By the time I was old enough to even realize that my parents were divorced, that’s just the way life was.

  To say that I was a very active kid is a complete understatement. At the mall, my younger brother, Jeff, and I were the kids who tore through clothing racks and down the aisles, and generally wore our mother out with our boyhood energy. But the difference between Jeff and me was a question of intensity. Jeff, eighteen months younger, was a typical rambunctious boy—the kind who might be a pain to deal with sometimes, but who was otherwise like most boys.

  And me? My energy levels were more manic. My fun seeking was much more frantic than Jeff’s, and my excitability level was much higher. By the time I reached second grade, my relentless hyperactivity was understandably a huge concern at home. My mother realized that something was going on and that it was a disturbance deeper and stronger than anything behind Jeff’s youthful outbursts.

  Back then, Internet access was still a few years away, and there wasn’t much information available to answer her questions-or silence her fears. At that time, social resources for conditions like mine were so few and far between that as my symptoms grew deeper, my mother and brother found themselves alone in the house with a virtual stranger. He looked like me, but he was entering all of our lives in staccato bursts of behavior that I couldn’t predict, and over which I had very little control. I, like many people with Tourette syndrome, have a short attention span and some mild obsessive behaviors. (Many with Tourette syndrome also have attention deficit disorder, ADD; attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, ADHD; or obsessive-compulsive disorder, OCD.) And so along with the beginnings of facial twitches and rebellious behaviors came the attention span of a gnat.

  We all stumbled along, hoping for the best.

  My father, who was not a daily presence in our lives, paid just enough attention to my outbursts to dismiss me as an irritating kind of kid. This prevented him from asking himself some hard questions about what was going on. I know my emerging behaviors both embarrassed and disappointed him. I was a subpar version of that idealized firstborn son, the one whose fantasy image lurked in the back o
f his, and every father’s, mind. The irritation that he felt toward me—and that sometimes turned to raging anger—prevented him from having to endure any intimacy with his baffling boy. He could always distance himself by falling back on the familiar pattern of being in a snit over my latest outburst.

  Looking back from an adult perspective, I am sure my father also had some feelings of helplessness. Here he was, seeing us only on weekends and trying to establish a new kind of workable relationship with his ex-wife. Some people just ignore what they don’t understand and can’t fix. Later, I found out that my dad was following advice he had received from several doctors. They told him that my problems were behavioral and that I needed more discipline. I think he has always regretted how he reacted, but, unfortunately, at that point in his life it was the only way my dad knew how to cope.

  And this phase was only the lead-in to my problems. The real beginning was at summer camp, before starting the fourth grade. Each year Jeff and I spent at least a month at Camp Sabra, which was about two hours west of St. Louis, near Lake of the Ozarks. I loved it there because I was able to run and jump and swim off a lot of my excess energy without being yelled at. I loved the organized sports, the camaraderie with the other kids, the counselors—everything. But this year, I developed a strange new habit of clearing my throat every few seconds, all day long. Most of the time I had no awareness of doing it.

  Naturally, the other kids noticed. But since no one—including my family and me––had ever heard of Tourette syndrome, nothing much was made of my little habit. Mostly the kids thought it was funny, even though as the season wore on, my frequent throat clearing became a near-constant grinding in the back of my throat.

  During closing ceremonies at the end of the summer, my counselor gave me an improvised “Froggy Award” for having so amused everyone with my funny noises all season. I wasn’t upset by the tongue-in-cheek award or by the hand-lettered paper certificate. Up to that point, my vocal tics had developed only to the extent of throat clearing and an accompanying assortment of odd grunts. I could usually get away with letting people assume I was some upstart kid who made funny little noises as a running joke—and I was happy to let them think so.